I'm think I may have given your ex's number to a convicted sex offender.
Win!
Use motel 8. I'll give you my credit card #. i'll pay for it cuz i care about your vagina.
Check Facebook. Random dude tagged us in photos from last night dancing at Denny's while eating a sampler platter. 1. How does he have our names, and 2. You said we ate at Tbell.
Hooked up with 8 guys, puked 4 times, got a few bruises, and my face is still numb... I think this visit has truly impacted my college decision
Shes definitely an expert at this. Her happy hour goes from 4 to 11, then she starts drinking heavy. She also allots 15 minutes each hour for a pee/bj break
Why i have shady connections. Owner just txt me asking to come by and judge the new stripper.
Siri just called me GayBoy in front of my family. I will destroy you.
This is going to be one of those "I can only do this high" classes
I fucked her wearing an American flag. Now here I am, awake, naked, and flag less. How do I report this to the police?
I gave him shit for taking my sloppy seconds and when I woke up my eyebrow was gone
Can you explain to me why there are fake boobs glued on my chest?
Its not chugging if its just one gulp
Sometimes you just have to have sex for a Netflix password.
HEY. NO. THIS IS ABOUT YOU RIGHT NOW. YOUR COCK, MY MOUTH, THATS IT.
My little brother came home while I was sitting there icing my vagina with a bag of peas. Asshole looks at me, high fives Ryan, then leaves.
Randomize
