At a sweet 16. cant remember what shirt im wearing byt dnt worry im not sleeping w/ the guy who serves the chicken nuggets again
as soon as you compare a person to an animal, all sexual interest is out the window
just saw a girl with a lower back tattoo of the boondock saints prayer.. i will marry her
a bus full of elementary school kids may or may not have seen me pissing off my front porch this morning
woke up with food on the counter from chipotle, taco bell, green cactus, and on the border take out. explain?
you were trying to get this Spanish chick to sleep with you. you were showing her how much you "loved her native food."
When are you not under some influence?
Since last Tuesday...yesterday.
It feels like eating ice cream while riding a unicorn over a rainbow waterfall made of glitter.
That is possibly the gayest thing that was ever thought of by anyone anywhere.
just won 200$ from the school for "liking" the anti-alcohol seminar. putting it to good use
how?
not even kidding, my fake id is arriving in 6-8 business days
151 hangover. Need apocalypse.
So how was your new years? Did u ride a horse at 3am in zero degree weather? Because I sure did
He hasn't responded in 6 hours and the last thing he sent me was a picture of 7 grams of coke. I'm getting kinda worried
SCOTCH AND CIGARS AT THE TITTY BAR. YOU ARE COMING WITH US.
he told me that he only likes small dogs. I should have known he was going to end up being little bitch.
I walked in describing her boobs thinking I was talking to you only to hear dad say 'I remember when your moms were like that'. ALWAYS tell me when they get home early. Always
whole 5th of capt = waking up in the shower after 2 hours and the whole house asking why i'm STILL in a towel. and me having nothing to say
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