So we've decided on 'hamburger' as your code for tonight. If you add ketchup or fries, we know the threat level has escalated.
bras are like tupperware for tits, keeps em fresh.
He jizzed my face. I had to ask for a washcloth. He ran his underwear under the water and handed them to me. Not so romantic.
According to the transitive property, he has now had dick in his mouth.
Don't say that out loud. People might think I really like to pee on you.
Of course you don't like it. I am the one who likes it.
I'm going to email her once I get off the bathroom floor
dizzyuy bat. 3.453 lkos. hoit sx, now im single. blackouteed
I wish someone would just come knock on my door and fuck me already so that me and my stuffed animals aren't the only ones who see my amazing spring break tan. I'm not getting skin cancer so I can just sit here abstinent.
Finished watching the entire first season of mighty morphing power rangers. Now I have nothing. Not even a life.
Fair enough. Everyone has some guilty pleasures. Yours is yourself
If you're wearing dry underwear your day is already better than mine.
Some nice lady just gave me a beer out of her purse. I love youth hockey
I mean we don't talk anymore but I still see him around wearing that sweater he stole from me after we had sex
So I just went to clothing optional bar
Excuse me. I’m a mature responsible adult.
You got your arm stuck in a vending machine trying to get fruit snacks.
I had a cast on my hand and if I paid for my fruit snacks, I’m getting my fruit snacks.
Randomize
