he's going on about how he's going to treat me right and wants to let himself be in love with me and spend a lot of time together. kids these days. like its not about sex anymore. i'm confused.
there is nothing more satisfying than playing sudoku while pooping
She uses empty wine bottles as book ends. 2 on each side. At least 8 shelves.
The plants looked thirsty. Growing plants need mimosas too.
I sat alone in Buffalo Wild Wings eating chocolate cake on Country Western karoake night. The waiter asked me if I was ok. Twice.
Our Icelandic basketball player brought cocaine and rachael is screaming that he should do lines off her stomach. It's that kind of party
I'm hungover and surrounded by children and Republicans. What did I do to deserve this?
i think i need to institute a "if your dick has been in my mouth this year i get a xmas present" policy
I just climbed out the passenger side of my car because there was a spider on mine. I'm doing adulthood right
I'm tired of being known as the Great Giver Goddess of the Almighty Pity Bone.
I knew you were cut off when you tried to order a "Phil Collins"
Please don't think I'm weird for texting you this at 12:08 am but I just found another picture on the Internet where I think you can see his dick through whatever he's wearing
apparently I kept repeating I have a to do list this summer and he's on it
Want to have dinner and we can talk about how my vagina can make you feel better?
im gonna miss him. and by him, i mean his dick
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