i felt like we were having sex on ultimate fighter, and people on the outside kept yelling ELBOW ELBOW! KNEES KNEES!
why didn't we just drop out of school years ago and become dominatrix bitches who beat men?
I don't know but we should still do that
Id like to know where dora the explorers parents are when she goes on all these crazy ass adventures
the $20 limit for secret santa doesn't apply to me cause you know a half gram of coke is more than $20
Which is scary since we both think with our vaginas
there's a picture of you and pauly shore at a starbucks on my phone
Just whatever you do please don't lick his face again.
begin the sex magic rocket ship countdown
I just remembered something. Did we really all flash the cab driver to get half off?
I feel like im becoming the girl who only drunk texts him. I would be in the dog house, if situations like this had dog houses.
Did I tell you I bit someone's arm for you last night
Ah well. Drinking wouldn't be drinking without mystery bruises
Agreed.
You pretended to be Borat in that weird slingshot bathing suit and then proceeded to send another dick pic/nude selfie and said you weren't naked because you were wearing a hat.
i think im in europe. pls send help
i got kicked out of the casino for drunken disorderly conduct because i kept stumbling into old people and one of them told on me. as the boucer was taking down my information so i could no re-enter i ripped my id out of his hands while yelling fuck you.
Randomize
