I JUST WOKE UP ON A TRAIN
I SHUDNT B ON A TRAIN
I am currently eating pure cake frosting...I am not sure how I was ever referred to as a responsible adult.
So, I just sold my textbook to have money for Plan B.
We are doing handstands and somersaults in the pool. With an inflatable beer pong table and our regular beer pong table. We're ponging by land and by sea
I wanna take him on a special date, something that says I banged your brother but since he moved I want you
just got home. some guy on my porch is tryin to show me his balls. no more parties at my apartment.
Beautiful wedding. Beautiful bride. I got shitfaced. Came home and ate two corndogs. I'm still single.
I m a li title tea p or short and sto u. T.... Here is my haaandley
C ANGT CATCH NE IM THE GIBNGER BREAS MAB
I just bought a bottle of lube for my car.
I just lit a blunt like right in front of an old man and I was like sir please shieldeth your eyes
I wish I knew the extent of my injuries before I climbed over the fence. Might have avoided the need to purchase a cupholder for my wheelchair.
eh, I feel I'm heading for a breakdown and I need to get it out of the way before I start writing that lab report.
I’m literally lecturing this class on professionalism, while my body is undoubtably covered in leftover cum from last night. I’m a fucking role model.
She said to call her, so I called her. Her boyfriend answered and traced the fucking call. I could litterally hear him yell because it turns out he lives in 4d
Don't you live in 4c?
At one point did I say I have a doctorate in fuck u?
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