Just saw a girl in a wheelchair puke then rally. Diversity matters.
She didn't know my name but she knew I was Canadian so she just called me Canada. It sounded like the national anthem when we were fucking.
Im in the STD packet for new students this year. And im going to be plastered tonight so be forewarned
Don't think anyone else in the building has a lunchbox full of yay
Hey there's a sandwich in there too!
You then showed up downstairs in only a robe, telling everyone how you were "the most chivalristic fratstar ever."
We fucked then made friendship bracelets, his mother taught him right!
She was grinding on him and then she was eating a Big Mac. Who the hell brings a Big Mac to the club?
There was a huge crash. I came out of my room to find you sprawled out at the bottom of the stairs in your bra and panties. You looked at me, yelled 'WHAT AM I DOING WITH MY LIFE' and then ran back into his room.
Oh by "being festive" I mean make tacos for dinner.
I had to get my boss birth control a work today. I knew going to ASU would come in handy in my career someday.
My arms in a cast, how am I supposed to have sex with only one hand?
more importantly I need two hands to eat pie
THIS IS SO HOT. BYE PANTIES.
he's spending the night tonight. if i can walk straight tomorrow i'll be pissed.
Yah. I'm gonna lay you down and feed you grapes, except I'm gonna replace grapes for my balls
U just kept yelling her vagina wasn't a priority bc u had a bowl of cheerios calling your name
Randomize
