1:32 am: your girlfriend looks like a man
1:48 am: your uglier
Erica just called me. She woke up in a storage closet in Mike's building with one shoe and no bag. Can you check your photos from last night to see if she had it at the bar?
he just wrote my ten page research paper for tit pics. i love my boobs.
I got my period while he was fingering me , I knew it because I never get that wet.
Did u at least say sorry?
hey you sure the big one didn't have a penis she left the seat up
Your doorknob is in my back seat, in case you were looking for it.
I wish we could skip the pretense of being normal and just start drinking wine with breakfast
To be so small, the mini-horses are exceptionally aggressive. And fast. Very, very fast.
Abort! Abort! He almost bit off a finger!
The alcohol just runs so smoothly thru my veins.
i want to live in a society where a 20 year old can wear pigtails and not get them called handlebars, because i look fucking adorable in them.
If you don't fuck me hard, rough, and senseless the minute we're alone in your room, I'm returning you to the boyfriend store
NO. FUCK YOU. I HOPE SOMEONE REPLACES YOUR LUBE WITH HOT SAUCE.
Got my period and a UTI on the same day. Fuck you, Sunday.
He said he’s shouting let’s get this bread the first time we have sex...
He’s very straightforward
a reward? ill think of something
if its not drugs or food I swear to god ill throw a fit
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