So she couldn't stop dragging her teeth while she was blowing me.
Ahh dude, that fucking sucks, what'd you do about it?
Decided to drag my teeth while eating her out... She got the point.
Dude..masurbate with cocoa butter lotion..its like cocoa pebbles just gave me a hand job
Her tits were the only thing that upgraded her from "no way in fuck" to "drunken mistake"
I want to say that being forced to stare at the 'no.1 boyfriend' collage behind his head ruined the sex but it just didn't.
Just calculated that for my last final tomorrow I need 120% to improve my grade and 53% to keep it..buying 30 packs now, go get dressed
Dude..this is the third year in a row me and him have fucked at a super bowl party..does that count as a tradition?
I blacked out for most of the day but apparently I still met with my prof. I made notes...
I sent you a snap of me in the bath, and you sent me a snap of a taco. An actual taco.
You're like a human soul vacuum cleaner.
Dude so help me god I WILL weigh a penis one day
Straight up last night my mom was like josh you need to find a job that doesn't include the selling or transporting of drugs
He spent ten minutes post bj, limp cock still out, in shock repeating 'best blow job ever'. So yes, yelling I am the penis queen out the car window was justified.
Whoever thought of breakup sex is my new best friend
i found you passed out on the floor with a half-eaten pie. i figured youd be the last person to care if i went and banged your sister
shes rolling around in the floor yelling my vagina hates me
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