Hey, do you have a beer bong you could drop off at my little brother's place?
Just passed a sign for an "adult food and fuel superstore". Wtf does that even mean?
im not sure but a few things come to mind which just makes me giggle
Guys should not giggle. Ever.
i just practiced my bj skills on a banana in front of the mirror
its going to be a good night
his pick up line was "wanna get a pizza and fuck?"
did it work
that's not the point...
Would you want me to push you down the stairs OR throw you a baby shower?? Real talk
You just kept saying "I want my babies to look like you."
he just used "boss" and "boner" in the same sentence. I cant respond.
he handed me my panties in front of my date. turns out he wasn't that mad.
She gave me a foot massage while her friend rode me. Your gf puked into the oscolating fan. How were our nites alike?
You're putting the star player on the bench. You dont put Michael Jordan on the bench.
Are you referring to my vagina as Michael Jordan?
She flashed them and they let her pay with Monopoly money. I'm married, so it is your obligation as my best man to repeatedly fuck her for me
Was your wine and cheese snap taken from the toilet?
My fridge is empty and all of my food is in the bathtub. Just.. Why?
Woke up with a 22 year old with the number for a different girl written on my stomach, almost 30 can suck my dick I still got this shit
The only thing I want for my birthday is a divorce from you.
Randomize
