My brain says no but my pants say off.
Omg. Just talked to a semi driver from nebraska. Got her truck stuck. Gave her and her riding buddy a glass of vodka and a cig. YES.
Reason #84 I'm on my way to becoming a crazy cat lady: I called the police last night because I heard a noise and the cats were acting funny like they were trying to tell me something. The 3rd time the dispatcher repeated "the cats are acting funny?" I yelled and told her to have an officer ask the cats what happened.
Just met a girl...She is complaining why on facebook you can't have more then one "open relationship"
I dont know how i feel about her from a moral standpoint...
my dad just told me he wants a furry wall in the house... i'm proud and concerned
After he told me that it's up to him to carry on his family name, I almost felt bad for not letting him cum inside me.
um, yes. it's my birthday, of course there will be acid.
Great way to live...just blowing loads on upholstery
He told me he wants to eat me out all day while I lay in bed watching football. Seems like a solid foundation for a relationship to me.
Well, our assistant supervisor caught us on the back stairs...he invited us on a double date with his fiance and him. I guess our job approves of the relationship?
Agreed then we'll really be on our A game tomorrow. And by A I mean alcohol.
I'm sorry, the person you're trying to reach is WAYYY too high to deal with this right now.
But don't thank me for faking being asleep, if I was the real wing man, I would have left the bed
I have no idea, I usually just project my awkwardness out like a mating call until it draws other awkward members of the opposite sex out from the bushes
Don't read too much into what I just sent. I love you, always have, but I'm drunk and sorry for the confusion.
Which part? The boyfriend or the sex?
Boyfriend. SEX IS ON!!!
Randomize
