I just told my doc I would like to talk about my drinking problem, but that it would probably get in the way of my weekend plans.
We saw some woman wearing leather pants. It was weird. We have decided to follow her on her travels to see where people go in leather pants in Michigan.
doesn't matter. i just recorded the power rangers theme song on my phone. and its loud. was thinking we could use it as our entrance song as we walk into bars.
so as we were driving to pick up my grandma from old navy she procedes to yell into our open window.. "I'll make ya holla fo a dolla" umm...
apparently drunk me likes to play hide the puke.. was not a fun time washing all my legos.
You look me right in the eyes and yelled "By the power of the superglue beer sword, I designate you my driver!" I almost felt honored.
This year i'm grateful for nothing other than the discovery that the uncircumcized rumors about him were wrong
I feel like we shud celebrate your sisters homecoming by having sex in her room
how are you shocked you fucked her? sure shes hot, but she also washed your beerpong balls in her mouth..... you should probably get tested.
Nutrition teacher wants anything i eat or drink documented for the week including dancefestopia. Do you know the recommended daily ammount of psylicybin or MDMA?
Did you leave ur panties in the sink?
Kitchen or bathroom?
Guess who just hooked up with a guy who was wearing a shirt from his mom's "dress up closet"?!
Nothing says "I'm sorry for shitting in your bed" like an Olive Garden gift card
Why do I feel so obligated to masterbate just because I’m single and it’s valentines Day...
Going to the pool bar doesn’t exactly count as “exploring”
Randomize
