He just seriously used the word "skeet." Can we please find another way to get weed?
No. Take one for the team.
Why did you video tape me drying my boxers in the microwave?
thank god dogs can't talk. they see way to much.
I am literally too baked to press the call button. How am I supposed to bone him?
I was just given a safe word. It's going it be an interesting night.
Please call me back as soon as your phone is charged, if you die tonight I don't want the last thing I said to you to be "I just farted a little"
FULL ON LADY WOOD. YOU CAN SEE THE VEIN
Oh my god. I'm not ready to be an adult. I'm not ready.
The 78 year old woman who works next to me divorced her ex husband, remarried her first husband, and retired all in one day. I'd say it makes your breakup on Valentine's day pretty insignificant.
Model at car show < day drinking with your favorite sister. Get your head in the fucking game Christopher.
I did way too many drugs this past week for having a broken nose #commitment
I mentioned the porn thing he mentioned a brother it all kinda just came together
I have a weird question... did you bite my back last night?
Plus he probably didn't want to be at home, alone... Jacking off on the big screen without you there to lend a helping hand. I mean, let's be honest. It's not fun if it's not a little weird.
It's fucking 2020, I should be able to watch Netflix in the buff while making brownies without you getting preachy about it.
Randomize