that place is a roofie-colada waiting to happen
i'm ok with that.. with the right DD it's just a cheaper drunk.. it's the economy, stupid
you washed your face with toilet water last night.. i tried to stop you but you wouldn't have it.
He would stand there for a few seconds with a blank look on his face then randomly start running full sprint towards macdonalds. We'd catch him and he'd promise to stop so we'd let him go and he'd do it again.
Wore last nights jeans to Christmas Dinner with the fam, found a half gram of blow, while they're praying ill be railing.
And i didn't ask you to do that, You showed your penis at your own free will.
we just finished a porn and sex toy shopping spree. this is the fun part of "being serious"
the lady at the gas station just thanked me for wearing clothes this time... i am so confused
I want the one making out with the dumpster. Is that bad?
I'm still not a hundred percent.. I haven't shit anything solid in two days.. I have pulled my puker muscles and I can't take deep breaths cuz of other unidentified muscles/maybe heart attack
you have a wonderful penis attached to someone I'm having a lot of problems with right now
In college, I had one standard. Penis. A lot has changed since then. Now I really only have one standard. Breathing.
When your boyfriends ex-girlfriend texts you to see what you're wearing to his sister's wedding that you were not invited to, nor knew about. I think it's time to call it quits.
I may puke in class so I'm excited to see how that goes
A reason for us to be drunk all week National Singles Week
All I've done this weekend is cum and drink. I think it's safe to say I'm dehydrated.
Randomize
