I'm not gonna not go for it, she's foreign and pulled a shotglass out of her thong.
He blow dried my hair while I sucked his dick. Now THAT'S fucking teamwork.
scarred for life. way too high and witnessed some chick give a dude head on the dance floor
I broke his nose at the bar and he still went home with me.
I feel like I'm taking part in a surprise porno. At least my hair looked good.
No, I've only ever seen his brother's dick. So when I have lucid sex dreams, I just do a little cut and paste in my mind and stick his bro's package onto him.
You have to keep an eye on her tonight cause you know how she likes to pickpocket people when she's drunk.
I've used my house key more to do bumps of coke than I've used it to get in my house.
I caught myself flirting with clients today. Someone needs to take me to pound town before I self destruct. This is a code red. I repeat code red.
Did u know it's unconstitutional to turn down a shot during 4th of July celebrations.. Rest now dear liver
Pedi-lyte stocked
He called me twice and texted me at 3am. Guess absence makes the dick grow harder.
Don't be the guy that has his dick out at work.
Some how my underwear was hanging from the antlers of a antelope head on the wall of the hotel........
Still can’t get over the fact that we ate beef jerky off a strip club floor
We're going to watch the inauguration and fuck. Or fuck and watch the inauguration, I'm not picky, just get your ass over here by ten.
Randomize
