I put it into a sports analogy for him: there are three teams in the league- friends, fuck buddies, and dating, and the fuck buddies roster is full, pick an alternate team
i want to find a way to basically assault his face with my vagina.
No He hasn't done that since the time he came in his own eye
I'd say I should re evaluate my life choices, but I'd make the same decisions only faster and wearing a push up bra.
I'm sexting at the thanksgiving dinner table...this is a new holiday tradition.
Just for future questioning, I didnt break up with you over text
You should offer shots at parent teacher conferences..I bet more ppl come
and you stopped teaching...why?
He bought me a oreo ice cream cake with "thanks for not calling the cops!" written in icing. If that doesn't sum up winter break, I don't know what does.
She kept telling people I wrecked her brain. That high.
dude, where are you? this beer run has taken so long i read war and peace, took a nap, and shaved 3 times.
I've been eating like all day, let me suffer my one 'Dear lord, I'm the size of a small whale. One that doesn't even need to find being killed by illegal whaling because I'm not even big enough to provide an decent blubber, but still big enough to be considered for a brief moment.' moment in peace.
Molly was fun. I was in a captain planet onesie in Wal-Mart talking to everyone haha
I walked in on him pumping himself up by headbanging to the drumbeat from Jumanji.
nothing like a long car ride to make you think of all the bad things you've done
Dear Douchebag, I would just like to formally issue this fuck you. You will be receiving a letter in the mail soon. With all of your stuff.
Randomize
