Can the rest of this semester just go by as a montage?
took out my tampon, fucked him, and put a new one back in all before he realized I was on my period. beat that one bitch.
you know it's bad when you need sunglasses to open the refrigerator
so if i die before i go back to school its because the thing we found in the hallway that i've been smoking out of is a crack pipe
Why do you keep getting laid in MY dreams
Printing the vagina inspector badge was money well spent.
Well this lady at the bar told me I was a natural on the tambourine and that it was my God given talent. and then she gave me a tambourine.
While running home from the bar in high heels I multi- tasked and sexted with Brent. Jesus.
This guy punched out a light, puked in the sink, stole the mailbox, then tried to tell ME that I had to leave the party... Then his dog shit on the floor.
Kyle's mobile fuck service..... Kinda has a nice ring to it don't you think??
Mostly i might never get belligerent again because im gonna have to keep track of a diamond ring.
Worst walk of shame man. They had a fire drill at 7am, had to walk out of her all girl dorm wearing my Everday I'm Hustling sweater
Idk I'm sorry it's weird to ask for testimonials on your penis
I woke up naked in her room. More precisely, I woke up naked in her room with her and her sister laughing at my penis. I hate my life.
just went home with a guy that made fun of me in elementary school. this blow job is not going well for him.
Randomize
