What wine goes with Cap'n Crunch?
Sarah Palin is going to have a show on the discovery channel...Can I get a moment of silence for knowledge?
Either he masturbated at the end of the bed or she gave him a bj. Either way my bed was shaking and I was uninvolved.
it was like a zeppelin in a condom
Help. All alone. Room is. Changing colors. Dance party 2010, but without dancing.
I come back upstairs and she's leaning over sink full of vomit saying 'oh my god it's the chili'
Guys with values who care about your personality don't cum on your back the 2nd time they you sleep with you.
I am almost positive I asked to milk her when I was saying my goodbyes.
Look on the bright side, one day you will get to tell your grandkids how grandpappy got roofied on his 21st and woke up in a for sale house missing his shoes
Ran into him again last night, stole his glowstick and walked away. The glowstick mountain in my room keeps growing.
I hate to stick you with the friend but I did all the work.
I love that there are toys on the counter. Coffee, tea, wine bottles, gag ball, and handcuffs.
My kitchen gets me.
I blacked out. Broke into their house. Took a shit, and left. This is why you can't leave me unattended.
Hypothetically speaking...if I was arrested in Wisconsin, say Kenosha county, would you post my bail all the way from Oregon? If yes, will you also accept my collect call in t-minus 13 hours?
So it turns out high me is very efficient. I set 5 alarms to remind me to do things, i made mac and cheese, and i wrote a poem. I'm going places.
Randomize