Yeah, i think she was German or something.
No dude, she's just got a speech impediment.
I just wnated to let you know that I laminated my history notes so i can study in the shower.
do you think having her use a clorox disinfecting wipe on her vagina will keep me from getting her herpes if I don't have a condom?
Fell into a man hole last night. I've been bleeding since 11pm. Got kicked out of the bar for being bloody.
It was so weird. I had like an out of body experience. I heard the moaning, but I didn't know it was me.
I would like to apologize for making you the target of my "I wish head hair grew as fast as Pubes speech" the other night
he drunk texted me to give me his number with the message "i gotchu pretty eyeso" i can't tell if he's complimenting me or himself.
The best part about living in a college town is the annual rush of senior girls who want to get in their lesbian experiment before they graduate.
Not yoga, whiskey. Totally mis-typed whiskey.
I never forget a pussy, even blackout me gives me that memory.
Sorry I punched you in the throat. You got in my way. You understand.
That cat I follow on Facebook beat cancer so we're drinking tonight in celebration
If you sleep with him I will stab you int the uterus with a pitchfork.
Prepare the pitchfork.
you could be the only one getting laid right now....yet your sitting in here making goat noises
I guess it's part of life. Sometimes your ex boyfriend becomes a drag queen.
Randomize
