When you come back do you think I could print anorexic pictures of Mary-Kate?
we're ranked number 5 for having the most pot in the country for a university school. idk if i should feel worried or just plain blessed.
Downstairs neighbor just asked me to tell people when they jump off the balcony next time not to land on her flowers
I call it my summer of slut; except summer lasts from May until December. It's been incredibly successful
I just got licked by a stripper, not so great anymore.
I can't wait. Forget the royal wedding. This is the most anticipated hookup of 2011.
im destined to be single forever. i hope its okay if your kids come and hang out with my cats.
Dunno yet. Probably just gonna play the s.t.d. russian roulette game with random bartenders at the beach again. Same 'ol same 'ol
Can't wait to hear which one of you won the 'fuck a bigger geek' contest last night. Queen Amidala vs Lara Croft. See you at breakfast.
We have a vagina exchange agreement. Neither of us can hook up with any of our own law firm's summer associates. So we have a scout and referral program and invite each other to the other firm's summer events. Criss-cross!! Works every summer.
You grabbed the hot guy that was making out with his girlfriend all night, slurred "I need to borrow this" then shoved your hand down his pants. All because you thought your ex walked into the bar. It was majestic in its shitshowness.
When I woke up next to him on the living room floor, my glasses were broken and it felt like someone rubbed a cactus all over my vag
We can't stop being roommates, you do such a good job of holding my hair back when I puke. I don't wanna buy hair elastics.
YOU CAN'T GET A TATTOO BECAUSE OF KPOP FANFICTION. THAT'S NOT HOW LIFE WORKS
I tried making my own red bull with crushed up caffeine pills, bubbley water and flintstones chewable vitamins. The ER doctor sead I'm lucky to be alive.
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