Got some. In a truck. I will just pee you in the morning i guess?
Don't bone anyone, just think of ur vibrator lol
HHaaaaaaaaa mmmmn vibrator
I think I just got seasick
you're not on a boat
he has a waterbed.
So the stripper who poured a beer on my head also gives great head. Even she doesn't know why she went home with me. No more mystery shot challenges.
I just threw out a whole Christmas ham, 12 positive pregnancy tests, 3 empty vodka bottles and by ex boyfriends Latina porn collection in the same garbage bag. The homeless person who goes through the bins tonight knows I have nothing left to loose.
I try not to have friends with attractive fathers, it only brings my morals down.
I just remembered I did the whole byebyebye dance at the bar
high moment I think I just reached personal nirvana
And I wasn't CONVICTED of a felony, I just committed one
It's going to be like a slumber party but with ketamine
I also woke up in a bed soaked of pee and drunkenly lectured him on the dangers of chewing tobacco... weird night
Bring beers. The password is "I brought beers" but you can't come in if you're a liar
Watch out for the bush at the end of your steps. it comes out of nowhere
You know you have an interesting job when you go to work and have to Google search "How to get poop out of a dryer".
So. My mom went grocery shopping for me while I was at work & brought the food here. Cool bc my dildo was laying on the counter. Forgot I left it out. I am sure she saw. Im mortified.
Randomize
