oh god the rape fog is back!
i was gonna tell him a really embarassing story about you, but then i remembered im in all of them
Olympics start in one day, that gives us 24hrs to think of gold medal worthy drinking games
I'm going to skip that pointless convo with Mark, stick with the "we're talking" status, and bone barely legal, borderline gay, preppy guys on the DL.
just fucked my old babysitter, gotta love block parties
Somehow I feel more guilty using her razor then I do having sex with her boyfriend...
Chick last night said she only gets off if she rubs her childhood blanket her parents gave her during sex
I don't want anything to do with the Darth Vader stripper babe. I'm just trying to make dreams come true.
I'm just gonna get real fat and join the circus.
seriously they are like going to hulk burst through. There are perks and downfalls to having big boobs
Last night at the bar you we're seriously going up to people and pushing through them like they were bowling pins and you were a bowling ball
Didn't pick classes because we were out all weekend...only open course is "alcohol and drug problems". Fucking ironic.
STOP PUTTING PICTURES OF JONAH HILL IN MY KITCHEN CABINETS!
My lease is up and I've been thinking, it's only fair that the guys I've fucked in this apartment in the past year help me move. They enjoyed the bed, now help me move it.
He’s definitely circumcised. There’s not enough room in those speedos for a foreskin with that fire hose he’s packing.
Randomize
