two drunk chicks are talking to me about reinacting 2girls1cup
ill bring the camera dont start without me
True Life: I hate vaginal excretions
Don't you ever say "drinking at 2" as if it's a bad thing again. I'm asking you as a friend here.
Idgaf if he's a manwhore, he's like the mt. everest of penises. howcan I NOT try to put that inside me?
Aj and I already plan to tape our thumbs to our palms so we know how it feels to be a t-rex.
At one point in time, he cried and said I didn't appreciate him.
Do you know why I have a burn shaped like a tiny spork?
You better keep a close eye on your uterus tonight cause I am looking good.
Woke her up in the middle of the night with the smell from a fart. So proud of my colon.
Deciding whether to take my sex toys home for Christmas will be the biggest decision I make this holiday season
You spent the entire night trying to get me to make out with you
yeah I remember. your boyfriend shouldnt have cheered me on though.
I may or may not have tried to give myself a lobotomy
He started me on Celexa. I think I feel like Bjork. Is that normal?
Like... my feet feel like little octopuses, and they want to swim to the next room.
This is not okay. I only like one boy. I should like 200 boys and be having wild unprecedented sex. Instead I like one boy whose a born again virgin.
Can you please bring the nipple sombrero up?
Randomize
