hey, here's something you don't have worry about since you're a girl: finding crusty cum in your bellybutton.
I didn't cheat on him. Cheating means finding out. I made sure he was at work first. After the guy left I got shitfaced just so nothing seemed out of the ordinary when he came home.
Fell asleep in bio again. Sometimes i feel like college is just one really expensive nap.
It's sad that he has such a beautiful cock and doesn't know what to do with it.
Please tell me you are a size medium in men's clown onesies and that you forgot them here last night.....
Just wanna let u know that we are almost on the pity blow job level of our friendship.
Synchronized big wheels back flips off the second floor roof. Good idea or great idea?
I'm pretty sure "tag teaming" and "looking for stability" are not synonymous.
Not yet.
At the start of the night I was all 'come at me universe' and three hours later I was ordering an extra large pizza in bed in the dress I had gone out in. Well played universe.
My gynaecologist hit my g-spot today by accident and for some reason I went "at least someone found it" VERY AWKWARD
I get so many dick pics from him...He has an unhealthy obsession with his own penis...
he was wearing a pyjama shirt under a dress shirt under a hoodie under a robe under a rain poncho the man was prepared for anything
The thing I'm gonna miss about him is his dick.
There will be plenty of opportunity for me to sexualize Mike via VenMo.
YOU'D BE LIKE A MERMAID! I'll bring you coffee filters to cover your tits.
Randomize
