you're the one who masterbates every night to the titanic soundtrack
you assured me you'd make it home safe because your pizza rolls were waiting up for you.
Im sick of reading dumb tattoos while having sex
It's refreshing to see you in something that is stained with something other than vomit and spilled alcohol.
My girlfriend was pissed, so if I had to guess, i'd say I had a GREAT time last night
FOUR LOKO IS YES. SUNDAY MORNING DRUNK IS YES.
at which point he tried to give himself a prince albert piercing with the stapler on his desk.
have to get expensive furniture. after that study abroad now at least six things at ikea are named after guys i slept with
When we were done making out, some guy ran into the room yelling, "I'll save you Brandon! I'll save you!"
How many of my tattoos need to be visible for an outfit to be considered "see-through"?
don't mind me. just hanging out in this cool air conditioned Babies R Us until the liquor store next door opens.
the lesbians just got naked and went into the ocean... this never happened when i was a camper.
He's claiming he can open a beer bottle with anything. He's been trying for a while now with a power rangers action figure and he is just cutting the hell out of his hand. There is blood all over billy
Well. Now I feel like I put pants on for nothing.
While I'm here in reality dreaming of catching chili cheese fries with my mouth out of t shirt guns like Jesus is real
Randomize
