she told me i tasted like america
Well the pizza delivery man was either startled or incredibly intrigued to see me skateboarding in the living room by myself at 1 in the morning in ripped pantyhose
Just so we're clear. I'm still making jello shots and bringing them to the bar in my purse. I don't care if its half off margaritas. Don't want anyone thirsty
You leave me no choice. Your vagina is grounded. It can just sit there and think about what it's done.
Katelyn drunkenly ripped the soap dispenser off the wall so we decided to call it quits
Remember when I got my car stuck in my backyard?
One good thing about being really drunk when you go out to dinner is that the leftovers are a surprise. These quesadillas had shrimp in them! Who knew?
Dude, just found out there's a monster in a video game named after me. No more dating nerds.
It's like your nipple is comforting my nipple.
A bee came out of the shoe box and stung her. Even the insect community doesn't want her in those hideous things.
Pillow talk?
can't do it. no eye contact either.
Where have you been all my life
Such a shame we didn't work out. We would've been a power couple producing NFL linemen :/
I'm at her wedding and she managed to get every single one night stand I ever had in her wedding party. Why does she hate me?
Unless you want to see me masturbate, I think skype is a no go for now.
This is the fourth guy that I've broken in to gay sex. How the hell do they find me?
Positive reviews on angieslist?
Randomize