New dating criteria: what kind of ex will this person be?
In the middle of blowin me she stoppped and told me how easy it would be to insert a catheter ..... Apparently she was a nursing major
I miss being able to drink at 11am just cause it was sunny outside.
So apparently the christmas orgy was a complete disaster
I would have to gauge my vagina to make it fit.
Check out this gay circle: I've now hooked up with my ex-boyfriend, my ex's ex-boyfriend, my ex's ex-boyfriend's ex-boyfriend, and most recently my ex's ex-boyfriend's ex-boyfriend's ex-fling.
I've already reverted to sweat pants. And lonely drinking.
Oh just chilling alone with a stranger baby while everyone else clambakes the bathroom. Probation is the reason there is bad things in the world.
If I have to masturbate more than twice a week you fail as a fuck buddy. Just so you know...................you failed
Both of us came out of our rooms at the same time in boxers and sat on the couch. No words were spoken.
I saved a note for myself but all it said was "am I a slutty Holden Caulfield?"
I just showed this kid my nipples to work my shift tmw
She yelled out "MCDREAMY" mid orgasm
And if you haven't kicked a pigeon you haven't started your morning right
Well, thanks for not letting me sleep with anyone, but no thanks for telling everyone I have the clap.
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