allegedly i woke up at 5am sat in the dishwasher and peed
I pooped in a mop bucket.
WTF???
Their employee restroom was locked what kind of customer service is that
I don't know what your problem is but seriously you're a cunt for throwing up that song on your page. It's rude as fuck
omg its myspace i didnt think anyone took that seriously anymore
I woke up to a text that said "You're a fucking asshole" Why is she so pissed at me?
Im guessing it has something to do with running up to her boyfriend screaming "THIS IS SPARTA" and kicking him in the balls.
Is that considered a cock block?
just bought a coffee grinder that advertiesed spacious grinding chamber...new nickname for my bedroom?
okay, I promise to stop paying strippers to hit you
No that's sign language, not a drinking game. I tried to join
I decided that I do the same thing when i'm drunk with every guy who has a girlfriend...lecture them on how bad cheating is, then hook up with them. I'm like good cop, bad cop.
Ordered a large pizza and definitely just paid the cab driver in pizza slices. I'm glad there's someone out there that's just as fat at heart as we are.
Today's work quote "if I looked like you, I'd be sitting on everyones face"
Rush week is fine, only the t-shirts are white and if it rains, the frat boys in their lawn chairs will be treated to 800 freshmen girls in their first wet tshirt contest.
Welcome to college.
She pulled vodka outta the dryer and told me to drink it
Just had my first american. He tasted like freedom.
All I wanted was a couple of orgasms before work, is that too much to ask?!
So Blakes coming home... so if youre like fingerbanging the shit out of yourself on the kitchen table...wrap it up
Randomize
