There is something about drinking on a golf course and getting with younger women that just really makes me feel at home.
The things that come out of my body both amaze and disturb me.
my grandma just put on bowling shoes, to play wii bowling.
Its people like u that make people like me go to rehab. He has a lazy eye for christ sakes.
Standing here wondering if its a good idea to cook pork chops in the toaster or not.
Was your bare penis on or around my blanket?
Good luck. While you're suffocating on a dick, I'll be eating pizza rolls. Being a good girl.
i just want to get drunk and cry and have sex with lots of men
Thanks for the reference. If your boss hires me, I'll buy you a drink.
If my boss hires you, I'm going to need it.
I'm bleeding and have questions
We keep making plans but he keeps getting arrested. Such a tease
Do you know anything about how the saran wrap ended up on my toilet seat?
you blew the guy with all the harry potter paraphanelia didn't you
i didnt realize that your first thought would be SEXUALIZING BREAD
I talked to his mom for a good 10 minutes with coke all over my nose. Not the best first impression
Randomize
