No, we just ended up walking around in his pool high and singing songs by The Wiggles.
Convinced the bartender that I'm a congressman. Free Drinks. God bless America.
I found out that all you need to write a 12 page paper is adderall and twizzlers
We got a party bus for the nite. I found out the hard way why stripper poles are meant for girls.
God dammit, you have a cape and I don't even have a fucking jacket.
Apparently, there is a horrible ghonorrea out break at our school. Woo! What a way for Loyola to welcome us back.
I don't have a choice really. It's either lose 15 lbs by Halloween, or I'm going as a giant banana.
Apparently you get kicked out of gay bars if they catch you putting the entire free condom bowl in your purse.
No. Mother. Fucking. Jello shots. Just no. I'm not falling into that trap again.
Adulthood is weird i just cleared a check larger than my gross income from 2011 but i also just did coke during my lunch break
I'm glad you had fun with your genitals.
After an orgasm, I always feel the urge to sing A Whole New World from the move Aladdin and I'm not quite sure why.
How do I explain to work that I woke up in my underwear on a trampoline and that I'm not coming in?
do you know why there was a glass jar of hot chocolate and a traffic flare in my shower?!! like where did that even come from
It was like Strip poker and blow, but with Yu-Gi-Oh cards
Randomize