so i realized that everyone figured out i was a slut before i did. then i realized that no one felt like telling me. sometimes i think you just keep me around for entertainment.
you're right.
she asked if she could keep her bee antennas on during her mugshot. i love halloween.
I feel like my whole life has been one big pre-game for Mexico.
It's sad really how 5 am brings with it a distinction from drunken to pathetic.
Has anyone ever told you you're majestic like a sea turtle when you fuck?
And your cock privileges have been revoked.
I consented to having my finger branded. How was your night?
i'll probably be on drugs forewarning
forewarning i'll probably have done those drugs with you
Pretty sure I picked a cat up off the street and took him home with me, fed him tuna, then let him go
Yeah but then I feel like it's worth it like bro you just stabbed me the least you can do is get me a fuckin otter pop.
Wanna know what sucks. Banging the bosses daughter at work and having the boss walk in while you are fucking on his desk. Good day though. Made 6 sales
See! Theres potential!
Oh yeah. All good relationships start with a threesome.
she stole my Timberlands and my Sublime shirt and left her heels and bra. this is war
the girl whose rug I peed on is here
It's not a hangover, it's "slept on a couch with another person and said person moves a lot and is loud"
im having flashbacks to my time in a waffle cult composed of 9 to 14 year olds
Randomize
