Its okay if i dont like him.his junk is just too good to resist.model penis,lame guy.
This row in front of you is like duck, duck, goose - but eating disorder, eating disorder, failed eating disorder
when did we get to this "texting at random" level on friendship?
I bruised his dick. I bruised his dick WITH MY MOUTH!! I've never felt more accomplished.
This titty bar has wifi. I just did FaceTime stage side
Woke up in my underwear and Christmas sweater. Only. Eggnog has won the battle but not the war.
It's my coworker's last day party and I'm the one who ended up shitfaced on the train with half a bottle of belvedere in my bag.
Just reminding you that you are currently drunk spooning a chair saying it "loves you unconditionally". No more rum.
Fucking shoot me with this y'all shit. You were in Texas for 2months you do not have an accent Madonna
So do you know how we found out he was engaged?
An Amber Alert?
when you wake up naked in a bed with glowsticks, a rolled ankle, a hangover, and a condom; alone. you wonder shit
What the hell do you do when your fuck buddy leaves to go for a piss naked and 20 minutes later hasn't come back and can't be found anywhere in the house or outside but has left his phone, tee shirt and shoes in your bedroom.
I don't think there is a pre defined social etiquette for a lost naked fuck buddy now roaming the streets.
My mother expressed her concerns about my drinking via a facebook message.
These freshmen are fun! The redhead wants to practice her blowjob skills with me and let me rate different moves!
you have 10 seconds to explain why the toilet is full of bread or its ALL GOING ON YOUR BED.
Randomize
