I haven't had sex in so long I'll probably find some stranger, feel guilty, go w/o sex for several months and do it all over again...always something to look forward to
People with herpes should wear stickers.
i wish you could fill a pinata with booze
we just made rock paper scissors into a drinking game
I'm trapped in whichever ring of hell is populated by inbred yokels and type 2 diabetes.
If you win this game of words with friends, ill suck you off for 30 minutes. No lie.
I cant last that long. Do i get the rollover minutes?
I ishhh haha are u coming nack easyer?
the fact that I know you're asking me if I'm coming home for easter makes me believe I speak fluent vodka.
Just found a picture of a hobo making out with her tits...a HOBO
Um he just came into the kitchen naked to get her purse or something?
Seriously, do normal people actually get work done being this hungover? No wonder the economy's in the shitter
all law school has taught me so far is how to fart quietly during lectures and how to out-argue the ice cream guy when he screws me out of extra toppings.
Yeah dude. Pulled out the couch and a bird flew at me. Please tell me who put a bird in my house.
Egg rolls and cum. Not my worst snack.
I sat on his face and watched Mean Girls. It was a good date.
Video on mandys page of you drinking upside down was finally put up...too bad all the comments were about me and him fighting in the background while he screamed "BLOW BIG BETSY!'
Randomize
