he thought i was a dude.
my Econ professor just passed around his phone for us to take a pic of ourselves so he could learn our names. I am currently looking him up on my sex offenders app.
Corey Haim died. 80's me is so sad
Balcony sex scratched the shit out of my phone. Whups.
Look at it this way: if he'll have sex with a tomato, he'll have sex with you.
He wore homemade jorts on our first date. I'm not sure if I should leave now or embrace the white trash lust and marry him
im so poor im using the bottom of my laptop to heat my food.
I don't know how, but he made a bong out of a hamster wheel. To say I am impressed is an understatement.
dont eat that thats our sex nutella.
Shoot me. Oh my god shoot me. My moms ex "likes assholes"
Another beautiful Sunday, another beautiful day the stick is not positive. Amen.
He gave me my financial savings if I invested with him while I was giving him a bj.
Ex-boyfriend shit on a ping pong table at a party last night. Taking "party pooper" to a whole new level.
I love waking up to reeses ice cream. But I DONT love waking up to it all over my cat. I blame you.
All I know is I woke up in the back seat of my car, with the engine on, and my gps navigated to florida.
Randomize
