I had a good time, probably would have a bigger headache today if you were in town.
When we made out her lip\nose ring fell out in my mouth. Awkward?
He just seriously used the word "skeet." Can we please find another way to get weed?
No. Take one for the team.
I think im gonna have to stop sexting on the metra. The middle aged businessman behind me just leaned over and whispered 'dirty girl' and highfived his seatmate.
she gave me her number. found out it was already stored in my phone as "bathroom blowjob"
I am in fact going to raffle myself off for a night. If you are interested in buying a ticket let me know. $10 a ticket.
Fantastic. I'm pretty cold, tired, dirty, and hungry, but that comes with an adventurous weekend. Who needs a wallet or keys anyway? I could totally be homeless.
I think there's a website warning girls about me based on the 4 who approached me separately tonight and called me evil. Fuckyoudave.com?
He fingered me and now wants me to go get plan b because of it. WE'RE IN COLLEGE.
Holy. Crap. I just found a hickey on my bikini line. He never got my pants off. WHO IS THIS MYSTICAL HOOKUP WIZARD?
She was two things I dont understand: tall and Christian
I can't believe I'm coordinating a threesome at work. My productivity is at an all time low.
I love you with the passion of a thousand FUCKBOYS during the height of week 1 texting
He got me to hold his phone, wallet, keys and pants while he hooked up with another girl.
My life is far to together for someone who's such a hot mess inside
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