i'm chasing tequila w mint flavored ice cream, phil's chasing it w cream cheese, bashar's chasing it w pickles...i think we all know who the winner is....
I'm at the airport and there's a guy wearing all camoflash to go hunting .. Should I bump in to him and say woahh sorry didn't see you there?
I dont know if he should be happy or mad about it but he's too big for a blow job.
Just mixed my liver cleanse with Bacardi. Best. Thing. Ever.
At least I know she didn't hear me crawl to my room. Or did I walk on my hands? Fuck if I know.
And in my birthday dress, with my friends, i peed on myself in line for the club. Still went in and partied. I remember pieces
well his nickname is liver of steel so it makes sense that his balls follow suit. tell him i say sorry
Someone asked me why we were having sex on the porch last night. All I remember is him saying he wanted the recruits to see. This has got to stop.
I think these people may actually be nudists. You know it's bad when I feel uncomfortable.
I inhaled my own vomit, how was your night?
Roommate is hosting a 'sorority retreat' at our house. If you need to get laid, stumble on over.
Either of you know why the shower was on and the bathroom door wide open with no one in there at 6 in the morning?
Dude at one point I lost you only to find you sitting in the bushes eating pizza.
My bookbag can hold 30+ beers. They shoulda put that on the tag bc its a big selling point
Last time I had a one night stand he ended up stalking me for two months.
So you're not picking up this weekend?
This weekend, I am Angela, visiting from Calgary. We'll have to roleplay this.
Randomize
