yeah i was sneaking up to her room and on the way i saw a picture of her and left
I feel like this woman may give her husband a hand job mid way through dinner. just saying.
it was like weight watchers had a halloween party.
we need 14,000 post its to execute this plan
You know you're on day 1 of your period when the new mcdonalds commercial makes you cry
Did you just buzz the apartment and throw shit at the window? Josh and rob came into my room and woke me up
Fuck you Ian. U owe me $3.65 cuz thasts what I thfrew at ur window trying to wake ur ass up. And fuck u for not giving a shit
Also, that dude projectile vomiting all over the living room was the perfect distraction for me to swipe the booze and run.
I apparently started to text you last night. All it said was 'the whole clam'. I hope that means something to you.
I'm doing shots of jagger in dixi cups and making a lesson plan for my 8th grader summer school class. My life is so close to adulthood I can taste it
He used one of his curtains as a leash and hand restraints. He wins the creative sex challenge hands down.
Should I have spent my entire pay check on Crown Royal and LSD? No. Do I regret it? Also, no.
we told you you couldn't get your dick sucked because you were a girl and you yelled at us and said we were 'discriminating you'
who knew tequila and Christmas cookies would go so well together
Ugh. It's days like these that make me wish my bad habits would kill me faster
You were only speaking with either thumbs up, thumbs down, or high fives haha
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