i hate having sex with him only a few drinks in. i like it better when i cant remember the gory details.
I'm 3 blocks south of you watching drag queens.
In these economic times, linking arms taking tequilla shots with your boss as an underage girl is the best job security I can think of
Its the Friday before break. There are 20 kids in my 300 person lecture hall. All with the same what the fuck am I doing here look on there face.
You should come over. I am making a celebratory I got laid by a huge penis cake.
I woke up to a topless girl handing me a blunt. Candidate for greatest wake-up ever?
Just so we're clear, that's a yes to the honey, but if you get marshmallow fluff anywhere near my body we are never doing this again
Yeah...I know. It's cute I think...I mean cute in a weird like hey I kinda took you home from the bar one night, maybe criticized your penis, and fucked your brains out...kinda sorta way
Also, am I the only one who noticed he didn't fuck you until after you were technically a cripple? Or am I reading into this too much? Congrats on that btw
I feel like we need a drunken piñata bash with your face being the piñata and my hopes and dreams being the stick
I was wasted and the time changed. I blame the male strippers.
THEY SELL PREFROZEN MARGARITAS AND THEY COME WTH A STRAW. MY PRIORITIES ARE IN ORDER
It's been two dates and she just invited me to her aunts funeral. I can't even. Who the fuck does that? I need to drink I'm coming to get you in 5
My new favorite word is dickbag. I think its relevant here. And I say that with all the love in the world.
Keep two things coming: nudes and puppy pictures
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