Until he has ordered mozzarella sticks & beers at 2pm while wearing formal attire, then this is still my bar.
Whoever said drinking more helps a hangover didn't drink 96% of a fifth of whiskey last night. This is absurd.
You had sex with him even after he literally described himself as a "coldplay guy"? There's a line you just don't cross. There is a line.
you were leaning against the vending machine asking if there was a shower you could puke in.
Does your throat ever get sore from being choked too hard or do u think I'm just getting sick??
Some dude just came up to me and stroked my beard, smiled and left. Shave?
im drunk. people are steering their children away from me. whatever it is that you called for, I assure you that I don't care. have a good night
Dude I reek of $2.50 pitchers, $1 off/pack marlboro cigs, and fear.
Fear?
FEAR.
No longer allowed at circus circus apparently fuvking in the elevator is frowned upon.
No more cocaine. I spent two hours in my bathroom convincing myself I was ugly. Is this what a period feels like?
You're the worst gay friend ever.
Yea. Some girl set a laundry machine on fire. She's not getting married.
Im calling you paparazzi cause of all the dick pics you take of your one night stands ps loved the panoramic one!
I just made out with Ricky Ullman of Phil of the Future fame and I don't know what I'm doing anymore. Help.
Thanks for takin my cousin out last night, sorry I passed out so early
You kidding, the kids a legend. He literally killed a bottle of Jamison, made out with a girl AND her Mom at the bar, stole us slices of pizza and told the cab driver where to go in Spanish. He doesn't even live in the area. Can we keep him?
I was really excited when I saw a billboard for neverbethirsty.org this morning. Then I realized it was for a church.
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