Stars make me really horny. Especially that shiny one its just staring at me.
Dude it was awful. I woke up with more strippers in my dorm room than those duke lacrosse kids.
I'm pretty sure the guy she brought home is a polish porn star..
Ok fine. Wild. Free. Like a stallion set free in a beautiful meadow filled with flowers and sexy lady horses
So he texted me two hours ago to tell me he just took two hits of acid. Now he's asking me if it's possible for a house to breathe.
Just paid off my possession ticket on 4/20. Helloooo awesome.
why is there a broken handcuff locked to the ceiling fan
I forgot how weird my hair bleaches and now I'm a calico
You can wake up to my rainbow of failure
Welcome to my Tuesday when my lesbian ex girlfriend shows up unexpectedly and gets me drunk and then leaves
We broke the bed while I was handcuffed to the headboard and let's just say that was a hard one to explain to the RA
I will be wearing a suit out more cuz it has been decided i rage harder with a power tie
I figure I since I made out with him that I at least had to save his number in my phone.
Everytime after he came, he'd laugh uncontrolably for ten mintutes. He was sober..
My drunk is wearing off and im starting to feel like this dolphin tattoo was a bad idea.
We got stoned and watched Disney movies all night. I think I'm in love.
Randomize
