just did a line in a complete hula outfit off a chick in a devil costume. do you think hell will be this good?
I just put a picture of what I imagine Rob's dick looks like on it on my vision board. thank you Oprah!
My mom just asked me if I was gay in front of my gf
Why am I a bad person? You were the one trying to get people to eat tape.
Idk we were snorting lines and making out in the stall while these people were cheering us on, on the other side. And that's when I realized he wasn't the only guy in the girls bathroom.
We're stoned and watching little Einstein videos. Come. Over. Now.
This is the third time that ive slept with him. He bought me more milk. I can feel the romance growing.
If I die tonight and was cremated, you could probably get high off the smoke.
So i know i shouldnt being spending random large amnts of money...but i just bought a sword.
Last time he went to Europe, every time he started drinking he would wake up in a different country with no memory. There is no way he can be tour leader.
Make way for the handjob queen! She will grab what she wants, when she wants, and from whomever she wants.
Don't feel sorry for me. I'm getting Red Lobster and sex tonight. Nothing can bring me too far down.
We need to get stoned and watch Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles 2. This has become a priority. Schedule accordingly.
A stripper just invited me to her daughter's birthday. Where did my life go wrong?
It's two in the afternoon, I'm on my third glass of wine and I'm watching Lambchop on youtube. How do you think I feel right now?
Randomize
