Just got yelled at by a priest...again.
Riddle me this. What had unbelievable sex, and finally understands the meaning that things come better in pairs?
I hate you
i just peed in a port a potty and wiped with my credit card statement. fuck yeah!
its awkward enough using a urinal next to your dad but its worse finding out hes one of the guys who goes no hands and moans it out
My dad just told me if I'm going to smoke pot, to make sure I use a clean needle. WTF?
the sex wasnt even worth changing my sheets
My ferret is drunk. Someone told me you'd know what to do?
I hope he doesn't find the chex mix when he takes my shirt off.
I never thought I'd say this but my vagina is taking a serious break for awhile
He gave me a card that said "I'm so glad we found each other... In the pants" and a pat on the head... My walk of Shame wasn't so bad.
Took three klonopin and turned all my jeans into jorts. I miss you
Going to the bathroom drunk while wearing overalls is such a struggle
It's settled. One of us is going to bang her brother. The world demands justice and he's hot. We'll be the justice league if it were made of alcoholic whores
And now let us go forth, and be garbage people in public.
Isn't that our default mode?
I blacked out and when I woke up and looked at the counter.. there was a full cake upside down. I dont even understand ...
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