People with herpes should wear stickers.
Thanksgiving. A stoners favorite holiday
It's not normal to lose a tooth eating a McDouble.
This is the way my sobriety ends: Not with a bang, but with a whimper.
how the fuck is Katelyn 5'1" and 85 lbs and she tackled a bouncer to the ground?
HOW ARE YOU ALWAYS DRUNK? AND WHERE ARE TOU TRYING TO GO??
My roommate said I banged on the wall and said, "this dude eats pussy like a champ."
I feel like I got run over by a bus full of inebriated Scotsmen on the way to a soccer riot.
And one night I got way too drunk and thought he said call me a polish name so I called him Konrad. Now he thinks I cheated on him with a Konrad.
That's my new pick up line call me a polish name
My snow day: told Cam, "we're not dating today, we're just roommates." No bra, boxers, drinking whiskey by myself for the past 2 hours, yelling at The Ultimate Fighter reruns from 3 years ago.
At first I was nervous about leaving him my undergraduate legacy, but apparently he made out with lesbians, woke up with hickeys and a different shirt. My family name will survive.
I feel awful. The bartender added me on Facebook and there's chips all over the bathroom floor
i think im in europe. pls send help
I may be a complete scumbag but even im not willing to spend a grand and sit on a plane for 24 hours just for shrooms and a blowjob
They gave me 4 meds at the health center and said not to take alcohol with any of them. Guess ill wait until tomorrow to feel better.
Randomize
