shes about as inviting as chlamydia
FUCK TREES I CLIMB BUOYS MOTHERFUCKER
STOP listening to that song
I knew the sex would be bad when he slipped the rubber on and said "safe sex activated"
I wish real life had facebook tags so i could figure out who all these people are
Her vagina is like Vegas. high traffic and full of glitter.
Highlight of the day: realizing the man in the car next to mine was getting road head... at 2:45pm... nicely done sir, nicely done.
as nice as a boyfriend sounds, a relationship would require morals and self-restraint - both fields in which i lack.
momma always taught us never to change for a boy..
She said my main job as maid of honor is to ensure the groom doesn't find out that each of his seven groomsmen has had his penis inside her.
She's clinging to me like a horny koala.
Why am I feeling up grandma?!
I'm really glad a picture of you as an infant followed this text.
You and your vagina are hellbent on selfdestruction and bad decisions
Dude...can we put that on a tshirt? I will totally sport that shit.
Sex obviously provides more sustenance than oatmeal.
In an unrelated matter, im gonna eat you out so much later.
Fyi, shaking your genitals at me doesn't count as "trying to have sex".
Three of my exes and one of my exes' brothers have hit me up and it's only been a week. I hate semester break.
Randomize
