Your dad touched me again.
yeah my walk of shame consisted of driving on the wrong side of the road at 6am still drunk with cum drying in my hair and left eye.
Just washed my feet between classes in the bathroom...Four girls totally judged me...
He's a fan of Alicia Keys on Facebook. It doesn't NEED to say 'interested in men'.
We played Russian Roulette with a revolving Nerf gun. If you shot yourself in the face, you had to drink.
Just found a hole in my wall with your left shoe in it.
No flamethrowers. That is a direct order.
She blew me in the back of the cab while eye of the tiger was on the radio. Top five all time automatically
God only knows how I ended up there doing crown royal shots to the titanic and insighting a bar wide shit fest when I asked the dj to play levels
They're magnificent. It's like god made her last but hadn't fulfilled his boob quota.
I encourage you to ignore feeling. Drinking more helps
We were fucking in the boat on the lake when another boat saw us and honked their appreciation.
Kinda. I got kicked outta the bar, and then incited a riot until the cops came and I bailed
Well, I just puked in the shower in case anyone wants an update on how my day is going
Went to the party dressed like a Cougar and brought a twenty something dressed as Micheal Phelps home. So far I’m loving being divorced. :-)
Randomize
