So just talked to them hahah i like that people sat there and watched as you two made out... They said they even had to refill their beers
She is my favorite of all the girls you have fucked. Other than me.
do herpes really smell.
It was worth having to clean the cum stains out of the carpet.
In case this wasn't clear when i said being his wingman was "hopeless", his date walked out on him when he poured a beer on his head trying to shotgun it
And drunk me decided to play keep away with sober me's dignity
my neighbors having band practice on sunday morning is a message from the universe that I should stop drinking
lets talk about you, dubstep, and a bunny suit.
QUIT RUINING DICK PICTURE DAY
hell hath no fury like a questionably-gay best friend scorned
Her roommate was talking on her cell when I came out of the bedroom and I definitely heard her describe how shitty and terrified I looked. Awesome.
Pretty sure the guy at the Halloween party dressed as an ice cream man is working his way through the building without a care for gender or age. He high-fives me on his way out each morning.
Per my usual Thursday, I blacked out and slept on the stairs.
Said he wanted to wear me as a loincloth. Not sure if sexual or predatory
I didn't have anyone to cheers so I tapped my beer on your fish tank... a little too hard
Randomize
