the best thing about dollar beer night is beer is only a dollar.
Acid is not a monday night drug
he's having a long distance Facebook-coordinated power hour. the status update has 159 comments ...
I'm pretty sure God is rooting for me with this two gf thing
I need to stop sleeping with republicans and cowboys fans.
So... on the count of three, we are going to forget last night ever happened... 1...2...3
He was very impressed that you could put your hair in a ponytail by yourself while throwing up.
Know what's awesome? Flying a mini helicopter while you shit.
Go forth Daniel, drink, be merry... And meet some hot Asians for your friends to bang
I CRIED after phone sex. Am I gay?
My sugar daddy is a bigger asshole than i am. What's wrong here?
And if it ever comes down to tax or healthcare benefits we can get married
That's the sweetest thing I've ever heard
There is someone out there for you right now. And we will find her. Or him. Her. Her, we'll start with tits.
Totally reading about penis envy for my final exam
Be there in 6 mins I’m smell like fireball. and strippers and need to use your showers before go home
Randomize
