I don't know. The next thing I remember we were in the walmart parking lot making out.
We could make it a date. Dinner and a show. The show being my nipples getting pierced.
He just said "fuck you" to the bowl he's eating things out of
You have to stop getting hammered and preaching about that mission trip to Haiti.
Can you send me the video of that girl that got arrested last night? I'm gonna try and hit that and I need something to break the ice with.
We are lost and the only things we have are peanut brittle, cookies and vodka. I think we'll make it.
I need a Xanax. A Veggie Delight. And exhibition style sex.
I think if it were a part of everyone's daily routine, the world would be happier. International Finger Yourself While Bathing Day.
Haha ohman remember when I peed in your blender? Gotta love college.
YOU DID WHAT???
Just had sex in the room next to my parents. Heading back to school ASAP.
We almost got stabbed in the nuts last night. Don't worry, we're alright.
Got myself invited to boss's family dinner party, drank too much, and fucked boss's brother in his parent's house. Just another Wednesday.
I started carrying sissors in my purse to open plan B with. Both ashamed and proud.
I took a picture of you last night while you were drunk, trying to smoke a bowl through your nose. It's now your contact id.
maybe i should limp back to therapy...
oh yeah will you also bring home vodka i wanna do shots on the roof
Randomize
