All of his creepy stalker friends want you too
I walked up to her and said hello and wanted to ask her if she had fun last night... she asked me if we had met before.
Only in Alabama do they play hymns in a bar!!!
i just spent the last half hour thinking about my totally irrational and intense hatred of wedge flip flops.
just threw up on dog. broke microwave with cheese and spoon. having a bath with my barbies singing final countdown.
before you ask yes i found the absinthe under your bed. ITS THE FINAL COUNTDOWWWWNNNNNN
how you manage to cockblock me from 500 miles away still baffles me.
Everything is fine now . The coast guard said we just can't take the inflatable trampling out past the break way anymore
I just found scrambled eggs in my shower. Thanks for that, asshole.
He just climbed off me and used my hairspray to fix his hair. If he hadn't just gone down on me I would think he's gay.
I vaguely remember a drunken mid sex pinky promise to not let it get weird.
party tonight. bring as many traffic cones as you can find. we need to section off the blackout drunks way better this time
Send me a picture of our booze closet. I'm homesick.
Tinder recommend to a friend: making threesomes easier since 2016
I know right? It's like he knows how to pleasure me better than I do myself... He's like a prophet of sex
location: under the moon. please find me. need ride home.
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