didnt we say no more talking to eachother
it will help you get over me i promise
im horny
ok i will unlock the door
I can't believe you let me try to pierce your nipple with a dart last night
my sister and i are watching a movie and pregaming together. and by pregaming i mean shes not drinking since she 14 and im drinking alone.
Life is so much better after having sex.
they got in a fight during sex...she came out yelling and covered in chocolate
I will never try to masturbate with americas funniest home videos playing in the background ever again
Im still in bed and cant move and i only had Two beers and a shot last night... how did I make it in college?
God gave us a 4 year grace period.
All I learned from that experience was that drinking scotch out of a crunk goblet was bad news.
When she was dating that guy she told me If they broke up, I would receive a call and no matter what I was doing I'd have to go over a fuck her. It's like being an EMT for sex.
Showed up 2 hours late and still drunk nobody gave me a high five. This intership is bullshit.
He crawled outside into the bushes to throw up. He's just laying there now but he says he'll be ready to come home if we just give him five
Come get your sister, she's waving a shoe about and threatened to "teabag the Shit" out of the doorman because she can't check the shoe in.
You helped blow my nose... Ok it's safe to say we are on a new level of relationship..
Maybe. I want to have sex at the fire station, most likely on one of the trucks. I wonder if I can finagle that before I tire of the spelling and grammatical errors in his texts.
Apparently last night I was doing back bends for the guy making my easy mac because clearly it wasn't easy enough for me.
Randomize
