I'm having a terrible night. Can I sleep over?
Too tired to pretend that I care : (
I blew a .224 after sleeping for 6 hrs, cleary im a champion
I need ur penis! This is not drunk texting, either! This is I need ur penis texting. There IS a difference!
So you really have to stop introducing me to girls and afterwards saying "he has his dick pierced" let them find out for themselves
I just watched nsync videos for the past half hour and you could totally tell lance bass was gay in all of them
it's official, i've been high in 26 different states, and three different countries.
I take your lack of response to mean that your hands are taped to 40 ounces of something.
Last thing I remember is Dusty riding the bikes we "borrowed" from the hotel through the CVS while the rest of us picked up the girls who were laughing at him
just found a someones bra in what seems to be a mix of pickle juice and vodka in my fridge. Who was over here lately?
Moment of the day: as we leave the restaurant, she reaches into my pocket, pulls out her panties, and angrily marches to her car. I felt like a sketchy magician.
she's fucked both of my roommates but not me. i feel like I'm not part of the group anymore
Of course i made out w him. He was painted green. You know of my secret longing for the Hulk.
CALL ME OLD FASHIONED BUT PEE IS FOR TOILETS
WHY didn't you stop me from ordering $900 worth of socks last night when I was very obviously judgement impaired at the time?!?!
I mean, I'm not hammered, but I definitely can't show my face or tits in that bowling alley again
Randomize
