You keep asking me questions like I have this magical thing called a memory
The drink u got me is pineapple something w. Cigarete ashes in it.ima drink it anyway
she's telling me all about the love triangles of her sims. you tell me how it's going.
I'm drinking Dom Perignon from the bottle with a straw just to piss of some french dude.
I just had to download an app to edit pictures on my new phone. The things I do for sexting...
just got the results back. i love his dick even more now i know its clean
Good thing I left work early to shave my balls because traffic sucked ass, which I was written up for and my reason on the write was "to close on time, have to shave balls for date tonight". Oh yea, that was a bold statement right there
If the world ends now I want you to know I was on my favorite toilet fighting the good fight.
It is super hard to find a good vegan dominatrix! THAT'S why I'm single
It is officially settled in my mind that fuck the hot grad student is THE goal this year
i wore just an American flag as my costume-huge success. 20 people pledged allegiance to my ass including a senior frat boy at the keg. God bless America.
I think I pulled a boob muscle during phone sex
Who the fuck is "nick from the beach last year"
No idea hahaha...why?
He just texted me.. Should I ask where I met him?
Y’all did coke off my Puff The Magic Dragon plate.😂
Do you remember what happened last night? All I could find we're phone numbers of strip clubs in Detroit. Did we go to Detroit?
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