I went to blockbuster, where I always go when I need to soul searching
Despondent, hopeless, I decide on vantage point, because I vaguely resemble matthew fox (let me believe this, please)
It was cheaper to buy then rent, so now I'm stuck w/ a wretched hangover and I own this shit movie
from now on, im only gona ahve sex with my boyfriend.
So it's like pop-o-matic trouble, but with penises
time to smoke my breakfast
well at that point we were just fucking to keep warm.
She's more of a "I'm gonna get herpes no matter how great her face looks like" pretty
Medically YOU CAN'T BE AN ALCOHOLIC TILL 25!!!!! WE GET 3 BONUS YEARS!!!!
He has a shower chair now. So he sits and watches me shower. It's kind of creepy.
8:30 every morning in the third floor bathroom we fuck in the handicap stall. You have your morning workout and I have mine.
I didn't ask to see his penis, it was an ambush. Impressive though
Halloween night fail: My boob sweat from keeping my phone in my bra caused the front screen to stop working from water damage.
Your mother liked my album on facebook that's only filled with drunk pictures. I don't know what to feel about this
If you got me high enough to laugh at a ceiling fan until I shat my pants you should at least have the decency to buy me another pair
Btw...refried beans is a terrible thing to throw up.
I've got five complains from the landlord about she being too loud during sex in two weeks I'm marrying her
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