At Coney Island the sign for the rollercoaster The Cyclone says, "Make sure your glasses and weave are secure."
ohhh my god. this party should be titled "my hookups of summers past" be expecting some good stories tomorrow
I saw a seagull swallow a hot-dog whole today, it reminded me of you.
It's like God knew that was my ex's best friend and punished me. I've never vomited that much in my life.
So I just googled the ten commandments... Were fucked.
Are you being sarcastic? I can't tell this time because you're in the hospital.
she's using the space heater to try to heat up a pop-tart...
we found you outside the hotel room sleeping with a note next to you that said " we made sure you were comfortable, hope your friends come back soon"
Sometimes I think I have so much sex with you to be sure you're actually straight.
Those mornings you wake up with a Barbie tramp stamp are the mornings that are the that are going to make me miss this place
Our first kiss happened while shot gunning a hit from a gravity bong. Its that type of relationship.
Today would have been my 8th wedding anniversary and I woke up with a hot European guy in my bed. Divorce has it's perks.
Ever since I got to LA my dream self has been having sex with way too many rabbi's.
i stood outside in the bushes for thirty minutes. Do you know how many drunk guys pee in bushes at 2 am?
So nothing to worry about, but i'm probly going to jail soon, just thought i should let you know so you didn't worry. Bye!
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