i told him that if he starts being sappy its friends = off. he called me jerkface and drew on me w permanent marker. im either in love w him or we are twelve.
This is the first month I have not taken plan B to get my period in over a year
And somehow that makes me sad knowing I haven't had raunchy unprotected sex in a month
I want to do you till i cant cum anymore. Till all i get is a little flag that says "bang".
Remember when we were mad at her for brining her mom on spring break? She just won the wet t-shirt contest. I think we owe her an apology.
The last memory I have is vomiting into a box and her rubbing my back saying "you are such a trooper..."
I'm thankful she wil die Alone. And I'm thankful I slept wiht her cousin. And brother.
when she first told me she hooked up with him my initial response was to shout "WE HAVE SOMETHING IN COMMON!"
I couldn't be mad. She was crying because she fell bare ass into the rose bush trying to pee. So I held her up mid-stream and she peed on my feet. No big
Either there is a god and he hates masturbation, or one of my roommates stole my vibrator while I was in the shower.
I wonder what it's like for my roommate to live bicuriously thro my sex life
But theres a keg here and me gusta
You said that we all need to "head out like a boner through sweatpants and get fucked." Jager night was a success.
I'm so incredibly high right now the fact I am texting is nothing short of miraculous. Call the Pope. Hell make me Saint Roy, patron of stoners.
Watching the awkward tinder date at the table next to mine is the most action I've had in months, so there's that.
I party with great urgency now.
Randomize
