whjeg hajt iyt
say what?
wanna hang out?
Spencer Pratt, I WILL beat the shit out of you someday, I Promise
So I tried to call my phone from his phone and was like, "hey, my name is not in here..I thought you had my number" turns out he has my number saved as "gives good head"
don't worry, your friend will b fine, they treat virgins nicely around here
WAIT U DIDN'T FEED THE SQUIRREL?
I started dry heaving in the middle of sex and she says "You moan funny."
Tostitos Scoops as shot glasses. Eat for chaser.
I am burnt. Have a black eye. Face dove into the grass and got pissed on. Time of my life. God Bless the USA.
I feel like the way dolphins mate would be the approach that a guy would have to use in order for you to sleep with them
I legit had a 15 minute convo about dinosaurs with a guy at the bar last night cuz he was wearing a jurassic park shirt
I'm still pretty stoned. There are mini rice cakes in my robe pocket to snack on in the shower.
I'm still me, I just happen to have things in my porn library that you may not have expected
Only you would come out as bi like that
You missed the winter stoner olympics last night....I got the gold in blunt rolling
Idk if you own a vibrator or anything but it's not smart to leave it in dad's car for him to find :/
I think I may have gotten way too used to using my boobs as an extra hand/pocket...almost stabbed myself in the chin bc I forgot I put my fork there
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