I'm youtube-ing children's choirs. Am I adorable? Or am I a child predator?
Predator. Straight up.
guys are not supposed to queef...right?
You discussed the Arab/Israeli conflict with the guy behind the counter at the Kebab shop telling him you supported his people. He was clearly Asian.
And then she started grabbing onto random guys legs, asking their names, and if they wanted to be friends... Haha, I love when the girls my ex's are dating are total drunken whores.
I just ran up four flights of stairs in heels, im getting an orgasm tonite.
so far we have 6 big wheels and 10 boxes of wine for the tour de franzia. team drunkslut is favored to win the yellow jersey.
Petty good. I just stapled a 5 dollar bill onto the chest of a sword swallower.
Sometime between a drunk guy asking me if I'm a Beach person or a lake person WHILE HIS HAND WAS IN HIS FUCKING PANTS or breaking up a lady fight over peewee football league I started to reevaluate my life and self
Can we make a sex game out of monopoly somehow?
somehow this went from sexting to explaining my eating disorder.
I woke up sick this morning, maybe sucking a random dudes finger at a bar last night wasn't that clean of an idea.....
Fucked him in his sketchy van in the Applebee's parking lot. In other news, my dry spell is over.
Are you drunk texting me again or are you just being your regular stupid self?
yes
I spend so much of my life shaving my body hair off and I want nothing more than his beard in all my hairless places.
I know we agreed to cock block each other from now on buttt I WANT this one. I have felt his penis, it is godly, and I am going to have it inside of me, so shut the fuck up and leave.
Randomize
