4:25 am: I want you here. Ugh.
Can a clitoris grow tomatoes? Its symbolic and rhetorical.
he quoted Bring It On. It's over.
Does it still count as a "walk of shame" if it's only 1am?
gettin drunk isnt as much fun when i can use my own id for it
smoking a bowl while I'm peeing. i love having a big dick.
I'm going to email her once I get off the bathroom floor
I can do it, this is my punishment and I will accept it, plus id like to see the look on peoples faces when I throw up on them
Hey wes just called me saying he was asleep outside by the pond at my apt complex
how many lesbians have to have their hearts broken before they realise I am not that kind of DJ
Like I've never seen her that drunk. She's usually like quiet and doesn't say she'll fuck someone on a futon
If I asked you to guess what I'm doing right now how many guesses would it take to get to really high eating an apple bumping techno
Dude they're making a condom for people who have no feeling in their penises that will make them able to have an orgasm. I love science
You stopped loving me for a minute.
You sent me "Is nap," I don't think that really counts as a conversation starter.
There. There is gum on my butt cheek IT IS NOT MINE
Randomize
