I swear to god I'm with a high end prostitute right now and shes the most interesting person I've ever met. She just took me in to share an evening.
And as an added bonus she seems to have gotten a blood stain out of my favorite t-shirt
I feel dirty and I went home alone. Bars should be like airlines and make fat girls pay double for everything.
ARE YOU ALIVE? usually when i say lets start drinking at inappropriate times you come right over. im worried
I woke up in the penthouse and did lines off the to of the fireplace. This is not real.
youre not allowed to be friends with girls ive double teamed. period.
Selling Girl Scout Cookies outside bars for higher than retail value has got to be the most profitable idea. Ever.
Chasing a shot of svedka with a clementine is NOT the same as tequila w lime...
Based on the pics I have taken of hookups while they were passed out or sleeping, I have scientifically concluded that no two vagina lips are the same. They are like snowflakes.
He counted every piece of macaroni in the box and then faceplanted into the bowl
I went to look at my notes for my take home final and all I had written was 'you're on E. You won't remember a damn thing anyway.'
I am not even close to finishing violently masturbating over that video.
I didn't want to hook up with him so I just jumped out of bed, yelled "I don't even believe in god!" and ran out of the room
No, dude...I agree it's great in theory but I promise you that 80 drunk 21 year old sorority girls together in one room for formal is one of the worst drama filled ideas ever. Ever.
so i may or may not have just had sex on the stage of the lecture hall....
I'm at home 4 xanax deep watching She's all that.. no I don't want to go out. The couch is eating me.
Randomize