Any day that starts with a call from my ex-bf... crying... is a good day.
How much cunt could a cunt bag punch if a cunt bag could punch cunt?
I would kind of like a job that starts at 10:30 and i'll work til 7. I'm not very productive in the morning. My main focus is not puking from 9-11.
I don't know if you realize how depressing it is to get your card denied....when you're only spending $4.
I did something last night that I shouldn't have, but I don't want to tell you because you'll probably just make it your fb status...
I see you've learned your lesson.
Literally getting boned by my flask right now. I didn't really think about this whole sneaking past security in a skin tight dress.
Chinatown. Her fortune cookie said "accept the next proposition you receive." TELL ME NO NOW.
well i fell out of the hot tub and tumbled down the hill and kicked a plant in the process.
we are sitting in a kindergarden classroom alone chugging beer. look at our lives. look at our choices.
After we were finished she said "That was like marriage sex". Should I take that as a compliment or insult?
Oh and apparently Friday night I came home and tried assembling the Christmas tree until my mom just told me to go to bed. Blackout.
We smoked a bowl in front of the abortion clinic shouting Obama at the protestors.
So a guy died and our dates revived him with CPR. Good night?
I need someone to play with my boobs. Even platonically. I just need a good groping
You just want me for my pizza coupons and my penis.
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