dude, despite what happened last night, I'm not gay
This is the first month I have not taken plan B to get my period in over a year
And somehow that makes me sad knowing I haven't had raunchy unprotected sex in a month
tailgaiting my last final, a perfect sendoff.
It was one of those "since we're naked anyway" type situations
Also, do you think you think his dick is perfect bc you loved him? Or is it actually perfect?
I knew it was different as soon as you told me you slept with him and didn't tell me about his dick
The only thing in that hotel room that we didn't fuck on was the roof
by the time the kitchen caught on fire everyone was too drunk to be alarmed. the host just poured beer on it to put it out. how was yours?
styled my pubes into a mustache as a surprise. Thought you should know
just woke up in a camero on the way to nebraska, i would appreciate it if you answered your phone.
Thanks for not locking your door. I had to pee and there was a random person throwing up in my bathroom so I used yours. \nPS I stole your soap
Over 50% of the drunkest nights I have ever had began with me saying "I'll just drink my dinner" to you.
do you ever wish you could like, jerk your heart off and be, like, emotionally satisfied? it'd feel like cuddling.
My greatest accomplishment today was eating a box of Thai food the size of a toddler.
WHY DID HE INTRODUCE ME TO HIS MOM? CAN'T HE JUST HIDE ME LIKE EVERYONE ELSE I'VE EVER DATED?@!
Randomize